As always, we started with our practice of holding hands in a circle to reconnect with each other. After introductions we asked the girls what they thought SisterMentors is all about. One of the girls replied: "You all are like the sisters some of us don't have. You are here to help and guide us."

We then broke off into small groups where each girl and woman was given a large white sheet of paper and colorful markers so that we could describe in words and/or images who we are. We all enthusiastically got to work.

We came back into a seated semi-circle to tell the story of who we are with the help of our words and images.

The girls loved talking about themselves. One of the girls started off by saying that she believed in defending her beliefs. Picking up on this, another said that she believed the same and in telling people what she thinks is right or wrong even if the person is older than her. A SisterMentors' woman chimed in that she believes in defending her beliefs with logic and reason.

During a discussion about plans for the future, a SisterMentors' woman pointed to the blank spaces on her paper and explained that they symbolized her future growth. One of the girls said that she wants to be a businesswoman and make lots of money so that she can open an orphanage. She said that there are too many children who need a home and she wants to help some of these children.

In explaining her words and images, one of the girls introduced the topic of boys and sex. She said that although she loves boys that does not mean that she wants to sleep with them. She likes hanging out with boys and prefers their company to that of girls.

Another girl spoke up and said that parents don't even want girls to mention boys because they're afraid that if a girl talks about boys that means that she's having sex. Girls, she continued, simply want to talk about boys to hear what others have to say.

Another girl chimed in and said that parents don't want to talk about boys and sex because they want to "put a chastity belt around [girls'] mind." This statement caused quite a stir among the women and girls with one girl asking others to explain what a chastity belt is used for.

These statements launched a discussion about sex, boys, and girls being treated differently from boys because of their gender.

One of the girls said that sex is not a priority for her because her priorities are school and staying healthy. Another girl said that she has her own "chastity belt" and doesn't need her parents to put a chastity belt on her because she is not thinking of having sex at her age. She explained that she wants to have her own production company because she wants to leave a legacy. Another girl chimed in and said that since her father would never approve of her having sex she would not do it.

One of the girls talked about how boys brag about having sex and that society does not frown on boys' sexual exploits, but if girls were to do the same they would earn a bad reputation. Some of the girls then chimed in about boys being treated differently from girls in general. One of the girls complained that her parents allow her brother --- who is one year older than her --- to go wherever he wants but that she is not even allowed to go downstairs by herself in the apartment building where she lives. She felt that this is unfair.

SisterMentors' women also shared their experiences including liking boys when they were the same age as the girls. One woman said there was a boy that she liked, but like one of the girls, she explained that her priority at that age was school. Another woman addressed the issue of friendships and said that it was important to make friends with both girls and boys.

As we were wrapping up, one of the girls brought up the topic of virginity. A SisterMentors' woman informed us of the derivation of the word "virgin" and explained that it originally meant "one who knows herself." This was a great note for us to end our session on since we all agreed that in the final analysis knowing "who we are" is really all about "knowing ourselves."

Shireen K. Lewis, J.D., Ph.D., Executive Director